Read the holy bible king james version kjv by Anonymous Online


Great for all ages! All the majesty of the Authorized King James Version in a beautiful Black Leatherflex (Imitation Leather) Binding. The words of Christ are printed in red and names are written in a self-pronouncing way. This edition features an easy-to-use illustrated Bible dictionary and concordance, which adds to your understanding of the Scriptures. Full-color endpapGreat for all ages! All the majesty of the Authorized King James Version in a beautiful Black Leatherflex (Imitation Leather) Binding. The words of Christ are printed in red and names are written in a self-pronouncing way. This edition features an easy-to-use illustrated Bible dictionary and concordance, which adds to your understanding of the Scriptures. Full-color endpaper maps illuminate the Bible text. This edition is ideal for gift-giving since the front Presentation Page lets you record the occasion. The durable and practical black leatherflex binding will withstand regular use for years....

Title : the holy bible king james version kjv
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ISBN : 12004809
Format Type : Kindle Edition
Number of Pages : 360 Pages
Status : Available For Download
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the holy bible king james version kjv Reviews

  • J.G. Keely
    2019-03-15 15:28

    I usually like historical fiction, but this particular example has been so mitigated by the poorly-hidden didactic tautology of its too-many-cooks legion of anonymous authors and editors that it was rather difficult to enjoy. It also fell into a similar trap to the somewhat similar 'Da Vinci Code', in that it utilized a lot of poorly-researched materials and claimed them as fact. A lot of the data matched up poorly with other historical accounts, especially when it came to numerical data. It seems that the authors of this book had a need for an epic beyond epics, and several bodycounts beyond the capability of a pre-modern war. There was also a problem with the moral and ethical position presented by the book. Normally, I'm not one to nit-pick about such things, since the exploration of ethicism is an important and interesting philosophical task; but, again, this book went in so many different directions with it that it was difficult to keep up. Though the intermittent noir-ish first-person narrative made a lot of moral claims about peace and justice and acceptance, the actual actions depicted by the self-same 'protagonist' were often in complete contrast, such as when he killed all the people in the world except one family.In fact, the entire book seemed to be filled with sensationalist violence, sex, and incest. It's surprising that I haven't heard more crimes blamed on this book, which often orders the reader to kill people by throwing stones at them (I've heard the sequel, the Qur'an, is even worse).Eventually, I began to suspect that the book was some sort of in-joke. I think that when all of the editors and writers saw what the other ones were writing, they decided to take their names off the book. Eventually, I guess they just decided to pull a sort of ultimate 'Alan Smithee'; but of course, once all culpability is gone, I think a lot of the authors lost their will to make this into a good book, and so it just got published 'as is'. I know there are a lot of fans of this book, which makes sense, I guess, since it is really a lot like that Da Vinci Code book, which was also a bestseller. It is pretty fantastical and has a lot of really strong characters, like Jesus (though he's a bit of a Mary-Sue, isn't he?) and Onan. One of the main reasons I read it was because there's this really awesome Fanfic this guy Milton wrote about it, and apparently a lot of other authors were inspired by it, but I have to admit, this is one case where the Fanfic is a lot better than the original.I guess it's like how sometimes, the first example of a genre ends up not really fitting because it feels so unsophisticated and erratic. I know that it can take a long time to try to get these ideas down pat. Maybe someone will rewrite it someday and try to get it to make some sense. Then again, it wasn't that great in the first place.There was some really great writing in the book, though. Some of the poetic statements were really cool, like 'do unto others' or 'through a glass darkly', but I heard that those parts were stolen from Shakespeare, who stole them from Kyd, so I'm not really sure what to believe.I think this is one of those cases where the controversy surrounding the book really trumps the book itself, like 'The Catcher in the Rye' or 'Gigli'. In fact, the Bible is a lot like Gigli.

  • Dennis
    2019-02-18 15:39

    Badly edited, poor continuity and internal consistency. Authors seem to change between books. Plot is cliched and thin, with virtually no character development save for Judas Iscariot. The main characters of Jesus and Moses are entirely one dimensional messianic figures. The novel opens with Adam and Eve, and then ignores them for the next thousand pages or so. The built-in bookmark was a nice touch, but a little pretentious.Oddly, it wasn't shelved with the other fiction books.

  • Jessica
    2019-03-20 18:39

    The Holy, Inspired and inerrant word of God! I can say no more than READ IT!I believe in one God, the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible. And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the only-begotten Son of God, begotten of the Father before all worlds; God of God, Light of Light, very God of very God; begotten, not made, being of one substance with the Father, by whom all things were made. Who, for us men for our salvation, came down from heaven, and was incarnate by the Holy Spirit of the virgin Mary, and was made man; and was crucified also for us under Pontius Pilate; He suffered and was buried; and the third day He rose again, according to the Scriptures; and ascended into heaven, and sits on the right hand of the Father; and He shall come again, with glory, to judge the quick and the dead; whose kingdom shall have no end. And I believe in the Holy Ghost, the Lord and Giver of Life; who proceeds from the Father and the Son; who with the Father and the Son together is worshipped and glorified; who spoke by the prophets. And I believe one holy catholic and apostolic Church. I acknowledge one baptism for the remission of sins; and I look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come. Amen. -The Nicene Creed

  • Jeff Menter
    2019-03-20 11:21

    God's first foray into the world of literature has made quite a splash. People the world over are talking about this book (or series of books if you want to get pedantic) and for good reason; It makes some grandiose claims, it purports to be the complete authority on almost all areas of human endeavor (aside from how to choose an internet service provider), and even makes threats to the reader.Of course, English is not God's native tongue and this book has been translated from the original aramaic and hebrew. It was then further translated to greek and didn't even have a proper English translation until the late 1600s. I have to say, either something was lost in the translation or the translator was going for a heavily stylized prose. There's lots of "thy," "thou," and "begat"s throughout the book.As for the story itself, I was absolutely riveted. From the auspicious beginnings ("let there be light" -- what a clever way to get the ball rolling) to the exciting ending with the horses and the destruction the story is full of violence, incest, adultery, begetting, and flaming bushes. It never lets up.It does get a little preachy at times and I must admit to being quite bewildered at what God's *real* message is. There are contradictions in the rules handed down (gay sex is bad but love your brother, shrimp was not OK but now it is, etc.) and unraveling the books mysteries is going to be a not insignificant task for any reader.Taken as a whole, it's really hard to look past its faults. I really wanted to like it and gave an honest attempt to understand its teachings. But it seems to me that, if you're going to claim to be the source of all truth in the universe, you'd have to do a lot better than this book does.One star.

  • Manny
    2019-03-18 11:33

    I've already done a review of the New Testament, so this one will focus on the first part of the book. Looking at other reviews, most of them seem to fall into a small number of categories. First, there are the people who are telling me that this is the word of God, and the greatest book ever written. Second, there are the ones reacting to the first group and telling me that it's worthless. Third (probably the largest contingent), we have the wise guys making flippant remarks. And fourth, we have a few purists recommending or disapproving of particular translations. I don't really find any of these approaches very satisfying. I can't accept the statement that this is the word of God, and all literally true; to pick one of the standard examples, Joshua's making the sun stand still appears wildly far-fetched. I'm sorry if that offends the Christians in the audience. If it makes you feel any better, I'll offend the Scientologists too, and say that I don't believe that, 75 million years ago, Xenu, the dictator of the Galactic Confederacy, brought billions of his people to Earth in DC-8-like spacecraft, stacked them around volcanoes, and killed them using hydrogen bombs. OK, I'll admit that I also like making flippant remarks. But let's try and be serious for a moment, and apply normal critical standards to this work. That involves comparing it other, similar, books. What's similar to the Old Testament? It's a tricky question. To start off with, what genre does it belong to? It was written so long ago that modern categories don't apply. If you attempt to fit it into one of those categories, you find it's a bunch of things: an epic poem, a religious allegory, a history, and a work of science. Now, we think of those as being different. But when the Old Testament was written, they were all mixed up together. In particular, it's easy to forget that "Science", as a concept, is a very modern invention. As recently as the early eighteenth century, they called it Natural Philosophy.Considered as an epic poem based on a religious allegory, the Old Testament is often brilliant. This is uncontroversial; even Richard Dawkins is happy to agree, and quotes numerous examples in the relevant chapter of The God Delusion. Obvious comparison points are Homer, Dante and Milton. (The only modern author I can think of is Tolkien). All of those are arguably better taken as a whole - in particular, they are more coherent - but, at least in my opinion, the best passages in the Old Testament are better than the best passages in the other books. If you disagree, just, off the top of your head, quote me a passage from The Iliad, The Divine Comedy, Paradise Lost or The Silmarillion which you consider superior to the Twenty-Third Psalm. ("The Lord is my shepherd", if you're no good with numbers). Maybe you can come up with something; I'm curious to see what it is. To me, though, the serious competitor is the New Testament. It's by no means inferior as poetry, and Jesus is a more complex and interesting character than Jehovah. The Old Testament position on moral and ethical issues now seems rather dated, and Jehovah, like Zeus and Odin, often comes across as not much more than a wise tribal chieftain with unusually powerful technology. Jesus, on the other hand, seems entirely relevant even today, and his bold and unconventional ideas still have the capacity to shock and amaze.Given the popularity of Creationism, I guess I have to say something about the Bible as a work of science. I'm inspired here to follow Feynman's treatment of Newton in QED, which I read last week. Feynman is very respectful towards Newton, and says what a great man he was; but he also points out where Newton got it wrong. We just know more now. Well: put in its historical context, I think that the Old Testament was way ahead of its time. Quite apart from the fact that it's great poetry, Genesis is a remarkably sophisticated creation myth. Consider the first few verses.In the beginning, God created the Heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved on the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light; and there was light.People who know about modern cosmology may want to nitpick this. On the other hand, if you had to describe the first few minutes of the Universe to a bronze-age nomad, I'd like to see you do better. You aren't going to be able to explain inflation and nucleosynthesis to them; you'll have to improvise a bit, and take the odd liberty. But, later on, there are definite mistakes. For example, God makes the Earth before He makes the stars. That's just incorrect, and there's no reason why it couldn't have been presented in the opposite order. The author of Genesis hadn't got a telescope, and it was hard to figure this stuff out from first principles.To sum up: considering that it was written well over two thousand years ago, the Old Testament is a startlingly good book that's still well worth reading today. Before you knock it too hard, consider how few other books there are from that period that can make similar claims. And, oh yes, I was planning to say something about translations. I think some are better than others, but the point I wanted to make has already been made so much more elegantly by Richard Curtis in his Skinhead Hamlet sketch. I'll hand over now, and let him conclude by giving you his scholarly opinions on the New English Bible.

  • Dina
    2019-02-22 15:35

    If you're a fan of Greek mythology, this one's for you. A penchant for fiery places, gnashing of teeth, the number 666, miracle-working zombies, and utter disdain for homosexuals and feminism are helpful, but not required.**Spoiler alert**He dies in the end.

  • Adrienne
    2019-02-25 10:26

    This is the only book you need for life. This is life's instruction manual. It will give you history, answers for EVERY issue of life, comfort in times of sorrow, encouragment, prophecy (only book with prophecies that all came true) and best of all the TRUTH of why we are here. This book is actually made of 66 books written by 40 authors over 1500 years!! It has stood the test of time. I encourage anyone to give it a try. Please do not knock it till you try it. And you dont have to start in the beginning. Try the book of John it is a great place to start.

  • Max
    2019-03-19 14:15

    As a work of fiction it's laughably bad and poorly conceived. Giant logical fallacies, poor character development, and all the plots are scuttled by a magical, invisible entity that's petty, cruel, tyrannical, and amoral. There is no central narrative that is worthwhile (or even believable), and each of the chapters seem written by committee rather than a singular voice. Clearly the book was so bad to begin with a team of editors had to step in and make major changes - which means no part of this book is even meritorious or reflects an author's vision. Frankly, I don't see this book having much of an impact.

  • Wes
    2019-03-17 10:41

    Certainly not life changing or anything. The plot was hard to follow and the editing was horrible. The characters were painfully one-dimensional and this Jesus guy delivered some of the worst dialogue I've ever read. All in all I found it too long and it took itself way too seriously. The fact that it sells so well is beyond me and the way people hold it up you'd think God himself had written the damn thing.

  • Jack Osider
    2019-03-05 11:41

    I offer a a logical review for you:Okay let's be realistic here, people who give this book one star are simply biased and blind to the beauty contained in this book. Whether you believe the theology behind this book or not you cannot deny the power and brilliance it contains. The whole idea of living is centered around the idea of love. A book with the phrase "Love you enemy" is a book unlike any before it. The poetry and proverbs are inspiring and show depth. Each book has a clearly different writing style yet they all tie together in a cohesive whole. The Bible is a literary masterpiece. It tells us to live selflessly and not store up wealth, give to the needy and do good to those that hate you. Does this sound evil? The Old Testament speaks of what the Hebrew people were to do in situations of evil done, yet are these not just indicators of evil deserving punishment? Later it tells man not to take vengeance into their own hands, for it is not man's place. This book has given purpose and meaning to billions, transforming lives and inspiring the hopeless. It is the #1 best seller of all time. It is geographically and scientifically sound, giving birth to science itself. An incredible and riveting read that spans thousands of years. Still culturally relevant today. Tell me what is not to like?

  • George
    2019-03-13 16:21

    What to say about this one? Firstly, it is much longer than it needs to be to get the point across. I mean, do we really need a few thousand pages to basically communicate the ten commandments and how God is scary, and a few thousand more to communicate that Jesus is good? I think the problem here is that there wasn't enough editing over the years. Editing was only performed by popes and kings to rewrite history the way they wanted it to go. Today a publisher would scoff at any author wanting to publish a book that long. Its just not economically feasible. And who would read the entire thing? Secondly, its confusing. So many characters and towns. I think the addition of family trees and maps would greatly enhance the readability. 100 years of solitude has a family tree in the beginning, and its a much shorter book with far fewer characters. The Hobbit has a map, and Middle Earth is much smaller than the Middle East.Thirdly, historical fiction is not my favorite genre. I admit I find Asia Minor more interesting than Victorian England, but this one just drags on. And for historical fiction, it misses the mark in a key category - feasibility.In closing, I just don't think that it lives up to the hype.

  • Chris
    2019-02-21 12:36

    Too much sex and violence for me.

  • Rita
    2019-02-28 16:26

    The word of God? Unlikely.Inventive and full of interesting stories? Most definitely yes.But alas, I believe in Science, not fiction.Also let's not forget about all the condoning of rape, murder and pillaging that this book is full of - especially in the Old Testament. It's disgusting to think that people call this "The Good Book" and hold it sacred.*EDIT*By popular demand, here are just a few (obvious) references - did my best to find the English names & translations online (, as my bible is in Danish and will do little good in an international forum.Let's start with a good ol' classic tale of infanticide:Exodus 12:29-30 At midnight the LORD struck down all the firstborn in Egypt, from the firstborn of Pharaoh, who sat on the throne, to the firstborn of the prisoner, who was in the dungeon, and the firstborn of all the livestock as well. Pharaoh and all his officials and all the Egyptians got up during the night, and there was loud wailing in Egypt, for there was not a house without someone dead. A classic about marriage, sexually active women, rape and the treatment of rape victims:Deuteronomy 22:13-30If a man takes a wife and, after lying with her, dislikes her and slanders her and gives her a bad name, saying, "I married this woman, but when I approached her, I did not find proof of her virginity," then the girl's father and mother shall bring proof that she was a virgin to the town elders at the gate. The girl's father will say to the elders, "I gave my daughter in marriage to this man, but he dislikes her. Now he has slandered her and said, 'I did not find your daughter to be a virgin.' But here is the proof of my daughter's virginity." Then her parents shall display the cloth before the elders of the town, and the elders shall take the man and punish him. They shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give them to the girl's father, because this man has given an Israelite virgin a bad name. She shall continue to be his wife; he must not divorce her as long as he lives. If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the girl's virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father's house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death.[So, if you're not a proven virgin: you die.]She has done a disgraceful thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father's house. You must purge the evil from among you. If a man is found sleeping with another man's wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die.[adultery is punishable by death, and guess what: both the woman and the man get to die - at least there's no discrimination there :P] You must purge the evil from Israel. If a man happens to meet in a town a virgin pledged to be married and he sleeps with her, you shall take both of them to the gate of that town and stone them to death--the girl because she was in a town and did not scream for help [apparently gagging was unheard of back then? Solution: kill the victim.] , and the man because he violated another man's wife. You must purge the evil from among you. But if out in the country a man happens to meet a girl pledged to be married and rapes her, only the man who has done this shall die.[So the rape victim is forced to marry her assailant or else he dies?] Do nothing to the girl; she has committed no sin deserving death.[That's something at least, but wait... Marry the rapist? Seriously?]This case is like that of someone who attacks and murders his neighbor, for the man found the girl out in the country, and though the betrothed girl screamed, there was no one to rescue her. If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay the girl's father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives. [Divorce was actually allowed back then, (but marrying a divorced woman was adultery, so...) so forcing the rapist to support the woman for as long as she lived I guess was a form of punishment to him. But again - would a father back then give his child, the rape victim to the rapist? I'm not so sure. And if he did, what would her life expectancy be, I wonder?]A man is not to marry his father's wife; he must not dishonor his father's bed.The place of women Timothy 2:11-12A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.---> Which was again enforced by Paul in: Corinthians 14:34-35Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.And let's finish of for now with more rape and murder: Isaiah 13:15-18Whoever is captured will be thrust through; all who are caught will fall by the sword. Their infants will be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses will be looted and their wives ravished.See, I will stir up against them the Medes, who do not care for silver and have no delight in gold. Their bows will strike down the young men; they will have no mercy on infants nor will they look with compassion on children. And finally, remember: all evil must be purged from Israel. Update 21/08/2013:I came across this little funny movie on Youtube today - have to share it! :)

  • Melanie
    2019-02-20 11:39

    I just finished a 1 1/2 year study of The New Testament. I think it was my 2nd time reading it all the way through. This 2nd time through was a much more in-depth study. I loved my study and I learned so much. My favorites parts were reading about Paul and then the Book of Revelation. Revelation has always fascinated me and so it was very interesting to really dig in and satiate my curiosity. One of my favorite verses is in Revelations 21:4, "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." Isn't that awesome? I love that! As to my thoughts about the apostle Paul, what an amazing man! He had so many trials that he had to live through and overcome. But he did not lose his faith in God once and he continually praised God and was always looking for missionary moments. What an example to me, especially going through the trials that we are currently experiencing.My love for my Savior Jesus Christ increased as well. It is hard for me to express in words the feelings I feel towards Him. I have learned how important "the one" is to Him. He went about doing good continually. He healed many who were ill, both physically and mentally (Luke 4:33-41). He wasn't too busy with his everyday schedule to take time out for "the one." How thankful I am for His atoning sacrifice for me. I know He loves me and knows me personally.

  • Paul Bryant
    2019-02-21 10:31

    I realised that in my house books follow a traditional Christian path through their lives. They arrive here from a mysterious place far away (I call it Amazon) and spend a long time downstairs (on shelves, the earthly plane of existence). Eventually they come to the Day of Judgement (when I read them). After that the judgement is pronounced (Goodreads!) and they are sorted into the sheep (three to five star ratings) and the goats (one and two stars). The sheep ascend to heaven (the loft) where they keep company with other beloved volumes and angels sing continually (pigeons on the roof, very annoying, coo-coo-coo all the time). The goats are thrown into the burning fiery furnace for all eternity (Oxfam).On rereading this, I see that in this analogy I am God. That's really not how I see myself. Not really.

  • Ian
    2019-03-16 10:24

    A Bible You Can Bank OnMy dear HolinessThank you for the opportunity to let the Church's Bankers comment on such an early draft of this first Bible Project.While our familiarity with the Truth is more economical than theological, may we be so bold as to make the following recommendations after extensive consultation and debate.Concerning Matters of NumberWe were of the unanimous view that the Good Book only needs one Testament, not two.If the Bible is to be the word of God, there must be only one clear message. We must avoid double entries, repetition, redundancy, inconsistency and conflict at all cost and expense.For the same reason, one Gospel should suffice, not four, even though we commend your efforts to reduce the number from 50. Of the two God options, we think twenty-four is excessive, despite the merchandising opportunities. On the whole, while we’re not sure if it is original or unique, the single God option is more appealing.Seven disciples should be adequate. One is definitely too few. Twelve is too many, and ten is too metric.We agree with your suggestion that there only be one, not two, days of rest after Creation. We don’t want to encourage idleness.Likewise, the number of holy days should be restricted to Good Friday and Christmas Day.197 Commandments is going overboard. Ten is a nice round number, if a little continental.Concerning Matters of FormWe don’t think anyone will get the idea of a Holy Trinity. We suggest that you dispense with the idea of a Holy Ghost. Two should be enough for a Trinity, anyway.This modification would allow you to remove all references to the word “Trinity” from the Bible.We liked the idea of having a God that is both a Father and a Son, moreso than a Man and a Woman.Quite frankly, we didn’t really understand how God could be both a god and a human, both immortal and mortal at the same time, but we might not have fully comprehended this idea.On the other hand, while we couldn't think of an original sin that hasn't yet been committed, we liked the idea of Man being born both immoral and mortal.These passages will no doubt require careful typesetting.Concerning Matters of Extinguishment and ExtinctionWith all due respect, we didn’t really like the thought of Christ being stoned to death. Have you considered the possibility that he might die on a wooden cross?Noah’s Ark is a good opportunity to cull some species. We suggest sharks, snakes, spiders, rats, cats, bats, vampires, werewolves, unicorns and dinosaurs.Concerning Things Resurrected and LentWe couldn’t quite get our heads around the concept of resurrection.Death should not be reversible, nor should Debt.The Dead must not become the Living or the Living Dead, just as a Creditor should not become a Debtor, and Debtors should not be allowed to escape their earthly Bonds and Covenants.Only when Debtors shuffle off this mortal coil, must Creditors give them pause.So the Bible should counsel us to repay credit where credit is due.In the same manner, Sinners, like Debtors, should not be redeemable, except by payment of their dues.Default should not become Common Currency.The Dead and Debt-Ridden should be Grateful for this Certainty.Concerning Matters of Proper and Fully Disclosed Self-InterestWe are conscious that this advice is becoming lengthy as if, like Lawyers, we were paid by the Word.But while perhaps dwelling in Borrowed Time that is still not yet quite Lent, we should like to crave a singular indulgence.We don’t wish to come across as over-sensitive, but we felt Money-Lenders got a bit of a raw deal in this very preliminary draft.Surely, there would be no interest in a world without lending.Still, if you do not find our reasoning creditworthy, we will waive our rights and fees, and defer to your better judgment on these issues.Now let us depart our Business in tact, and return to the Bible in hand.Concerning the Myriad of Hail MarysWhile it is not strictly a financial issue, we found it a bit confusing to have more than one Mary in the text.We suggest that you revert to the original proposal that the mother of Christ be called Miriam.Either that or Mariel.They're both nice names for good girls. Or good names for nice girls.Of the two alternatives, we prefer that she be a virgin rather than a reformed strumpet.We wondered whether the latter quality could be ascribed to Mary Maudlin, although we didn't quite understood the reference to Jesus knowing her in the biblical sense.Perhaps you could omit this precocious specimen of metafiction, and maybe change the spelling and pronunciation of her last name to something a little less drab. Where there is no Trinity, there should be no Maudlin.That’s about it, really. We’ll let you know if we have any more ideas.(Signed)I Banchieri di DioDedication:This review is dedicated to: * the inaptly named Christopher Hitchens, Leys School and Oxford graduate, on the occasion of his premature, but inevitable, death on 15 December, 2011; and* the long-suffering residents of the Cantabrian City of Christchurch (home of the Crusaders) which continues to be plagued by earthquakes.

  • Jen
    2019-02-20 15:18

    The Holy Bible is the written world inspired by God and written by many who walked and talked with God over the past 6000 years. The creation of man, man's fall, God's plan of salvation, the prophets, judges, kings. Christ and his disciples and his ordained Apostles and their works. The Bible is the human handbook of instruction for our daily life. It holds out hope it teaches truth, it shows us the comforter and how to walk uprightly in truth and rightousness. It is a book of Mystery, Murder, Love, Hate, Principles, Parables, Princess, Kings, Queens, Men and women, Lovers and those betrayed. Sex and lust, The bible has it all. The bible has layers and you can read something again and again and every find something new not understood before and it is the love of God for all humanity and his plan for all the come to salvation. Of his ultimate gift and grace and salvation for any and all who desire to claim it. It is not an easy book. It is a book if you want to be a better person you need daily in your life. Read with a prayer and open mind and let the Spirit of God open your eyes to his wonderful plan of Salvation.

  • Kim
    2019-03-03 13:25

    What can you say about one of the most boring books of all time, yet still tops the charts for best-selling fiction. Firstly the writing style is atrocious. It's like twenty guys were only given part of the story and told to make it up and make it all fit. The inconsistencies are everywhere. They really needed a better editor. And with so many different cooks the styles are everywhere. From dry accountant listing everything person and every thing in exacting detail, to a fantasy nut who introduces magical staffs and mythical beings who communicate through burning botany. What happened to the plot? For the first section there is this evil overlord controlling every aspect of his minions life. What they can eat, what they can wear, who they must kill and subjugate next. I kept waiting for a big rebellion and maybe a lightsaber battle but they kept praising this guy. Can't they see they are just his puppets? And it goes on and on and on and on and on and... you get the drift. But thankfully it isn't all just lists, and doom and gloom and wait yes it is. There's some comedy pieces like this guy Noah who forgot all the dinosaurs and left them to die instead of taking them on his super arc. Must have been a cold-hearted guy and let them drown like the chick in Titanic did to Leo. So did Noah paint the dinosaurs like one of his "French girls"? But then in the second half (or sequel I'm not quite sure. Maybe there was some writers strike between them) he just changes and it's as if he isn't even there anymore. Anti-climactic or what. Now his son is here to make the world a better place. I think the writers owe George Lucas some money for stealing his idea. This guy possesses all these superpowers but never comes up with a cool costume or superhero name. He just walks around, talking and occasionally doing little magic tricks. He could have headlined in Vegas! But no, he just tours the Middle East and forgets about the rest of the world. So in retaliation for not doing a gig in the Coliseum the Romans decide he has to die. And, lo and behold, he does! On a massive cross which must have hurt. But wait! He still has a magic trick up his sleeve (or robe or toga or whatever). He was only faking it. They take his "body" and put it in a cave and he does his Houdini trick and poof, he's gone. I'm thinking he was like the invisible man and ran off and married some little Arabian hottie. And story over. So some minor magical fantasy pieces surrounded by the dullest of historical fantasy. At over 1000 pages, mostly with pretty small print, this tome makes for one hell of a paperweight and not much else. No wonder it's always left behind in hotels because people get 5 pages in and fall asleep. Do yourself a favour and go read some much better written historical fantasy. Or maybe Harry Potter. Hell maybe even Twilight. No scratch that, Twilight is still worse. Just.

  • Pete
    2019-03-09 14:12

    inconsistent narrative; main character seems fickle. interminably long passages about wandering, followed by some pearls of wisdom, songs, lots of war, and plenty of stonings. passages can be interpreted or misinterpreted as mysogynistic, racist, and homophobic, if the reader tries real hard. apparently, every sperm is, in fact, "sacred". evolution and genetics called into question without convincing arguments or statistical data. last chapter seems to be written under the influence of psychoactive chemicals. overall, self-indulgent hodge-podge with snippets of good story-telling; marxist bent in latter third, with a nice buddhistic/shared society twist.

  • Jonny
    2019-03-10 16:27

    If it wasn't for the fact that some people actually took it seriously, this book would be a fantastic read. It's action packed, full of death and destruction, as well as advocating murder, vengeance, wars, sacrifice and rape, and even the stoning of adulterers and homosexuals - it's definetly a thrilling (if somewhat disturbing) read!However, if you wish to read the original stories, then you may want to refer to Mithraic holy scripts, which predate the Bible by several thousand years, yet amazingly contain many of the same stories. Mithras, for example, was the son of God, born on the 25th December of a virgin in a grotto, where he was attended to by shepherds with gifts. He was, according to Mithraic holy texts, sent to Earth to live as a man, and die to redeem the sins of mankind. He requested people drink of his blood and eat of his flesh (which Mithraic followers did symbolically in Communion) and had a meal with his 12 followers the night before his death. However, do not be concerned, for he was resurrected shortly after, and followers were also baptised so that they too could be resurrected after death. I smell plagiarism here...

  • Carrie
    2019-03-16 18:31

    1 Million Bibles are sold every week.....4.7 billion other book comes anywhere near that record!It is unique.I find it strange that some say, 'I don't believe the Bible' that's like saying 'I don't believe History'...go to the British Museum and see for yourself all the artifacts and the Biblical references to the places mentioned in the Bible.So many lovers of William Shakespeare do not seem to be aware of the fact that the Bard took part in translating the King Jame's Version of the Bible into English. Like a bit of proof? On Shakespeare's 46th birthday he translated Psalm 46....count 46 words from the beginning of the Psalm and 46 words from the end.....he did it to put his personal mark on this translation!As for the recommendations in the Bible.....yeah I think its great to love our neighbour as ourself....I think to put others first.....instead of this Age of the Ego, this Age of wonderful....imagine war, no violence, no abuse, no stealing.....what was it John Lennon wrote about in 'Imagine'?

  • Chris
    2019-02-19 13:26

    I felt this book had a very scattered perspective. Almost as if there were several different authors. The editing could have been better in order to eliminate the dry spots. (Begat, begat, begat, etc.... Boooooring.) Solomon's Song.... ??? What the heck was that all about. Also there were several highly unlikely characters. People living 900 Years?? 9 foot tall giants?? I'm dead, wait I'm not?? It's MY baby, no it's MY baby. Moms... wouldn't you know your baby? It is a little disconcerting you must admit. 50/50 then...??? Hmmm... it will be interesting to get a definitive interpretation to the cryptic almost phsycotic babblings at the end. And was it 7 seals.... or 7 sea lions? Anyway... still trying to figure it all out.

  • Foad
    2019-03-01 15:42

    سِفر پیدایش(view spoiler)[سِفر پیدایش تصویر عجیبی از انبیا ارائه میده. انبیاى این سِفر، شدیداً خالی از تقدسن، بعضاً حتا طبق معیارهای عادی هم انسان هایی زشت سیرت هستن و از صفاتی مثل دروغگویی، کلاه گذاشتن سر دیگران، حسادت یا تندخویی ابا ندارن (ابراهیم به خاطر حسادت ساره ی عقیم به هاجر بچه زا، هاجر رو وسط بیابون رها میکنه، اسحاق سر پدرزنش کلاه میذاره و گوسفندای اونو با حیله تصاحب میکنه و...) نهایتاً هیچ کدوم مأمور به ابلاغ دین نیستن و اصولاً بحث دین کمابیش مطرح نیست. خداوند فقط بر اونها ظاهر میشه تا به خودشون و نسلشون برکت بده، چون بندگان محبوبش هستن.خیلی از وقایع دیگه هم خالی از تقدس هستن، مثل معجزات (خداوند بر اسحاق ظاهر میشه تا مثلاً بهش بگه چطور گوسفنداشو زیاد کنه) یا عذاب ها (زن لوط، صرفاً به خاطر این عذاب میشه که به کسایی که دارن عذاب میشن نگاه میکنه) یا وقایع مشابه.ظاهراً در سِفرهای بعدی، این تصویر تغییر میکنه و مثلاً تصویر اشعیا و ارمیای نبی، بیشتر همراه با تقدسه. ولی در سفر پیدایش، خبری از نبوت به معنای اسلامی کلمه نیست و بیشتر موضوعات شخصی (نسل پر برکت، ثروت زیاد، مالکیت زمین، زن گرفتن و...) مطرحه. (hide spoiler)]سِفر خروج(view spoiler)[به نظر مى رسد خدايى كه "سِفر خروج" تصوير مى كند، "خداى واحد" نيست. بلكه چنین بر مى آيد كه خدايان متعددى وجود دارند كه هر يك، متعلق به يك قومند، و "يَهوَه" تنها خداى قوم بنى اسرائيل است. به اين مطلب، برتراند راسل در تاريخ فلسفه ى غرب تصريح مى كند.مثلاً در طىّ سِفر خروج، خدايان ديگر اقوام نفى نمى شوند، بلكه فقط يَهوه به بنى اسرائيل مى گويد: "شما خدايان اقوام ديگر را نپرستيد، چرا كه من بر آن خدايان پيروزم و من حامى شمايم."همچنین در هيچ جاى سفر خروج موسى (ع) تلاشى براى تبليغ دين بین اقوام غیر اسرائیلی و هدايت فرعون يا قبطى ها يا اقوام ديگر نمى كند. بحث فقط بحث قوميت است: موسى مأمور است قوم بنى اسرائيل را از مصر نجات دهد، اقوام ساكن فلسطين (عمالقه، كنعانى ها، حيتى ها و...) را شكست دهد و قوم بنى اسرائيل را در آن جا سكونت دهد.این در کتاب های دیگر تورات نیز مشاهده می شود. مثلاً در کتاب صفنیا، به هنگام توصیف روزی که بنی اسرائیل بر اقوام دیگر پیروز و سروَر می شوند، می گوید "خداوند تمامی خدایان جهان را نابود خواهد کرد و آن گاه همه ی اقوام او را عبادت خواهند کرد."هر چند از چند بخش، بر مى آيد كه يَهوه خداى همه ى جهان است: يكى جايى كه خود را خداى فرعون معرّفى مى كند و ديگر، جايى كه می گوید "با ساکنان فلسطین دوستی نکنید، چرا که آن ها به جای پرستش من، بت ها را می پرستند".جداى از اين ها، سِفر پيدايش كاملاً تصريح دارد بر اين كه يَهوه آفريننده ى تمام جهان و انسان هاست. (hide spoiler)]سِفر لاویان(view spoiler)[این سفر به بیان احکام شریعت یهود می پردازد.نکته ای که بسیار به چشم می خورد، نبود مفاهیم "بهشت" و "جهنم" و به طور کل، "قیامت" بود. خداوند کسانی که سرپیچی کنند را تهدید به عذاب دنیوی می کند و کسانی که اطاعت کنند را، مژده ی راحتی دنیوی می دهد. این امر در سراسر عهد عتیق موجود است و اسمی از عذاب و پاداش اخروی در این کتاب نیامده است.در مقابل، "تلمود" (سنت شفاهی یهود) از عذاب های اخروی سخن می گوید. در نتیجه، یهودیان دو قسم بودند:دسته ی نخست، یهودیانی که به تلمود معتقد نبودند، و در نتیجه به بهشت و دوزخ باور نداشتند، که صدوقیان نامیده می شدند.یهودیانی که به تلمود معتقد بودند، و در نتیجه به بهشت و دوزخ باور داشتند که فریسیان نامیده می شدند.بیشتر یهودیان امروزی در مورد بهشت و دوزخ، تابع صدوقیان هستند. (hide spoiler)]مزامير و زبور(view spoiler)[مزامير جمع "مزمار" يا "مزمور" يك آلت موسيقى است و مجازاً به اشعارى كه با آهنگ خوانده مى شود هم اطلاق مى شود. از آن جايى كه اين كتاب دعاها و نيايش هايى است كه در زبان عبرى به صورت شعرى بى وزن بوده، مزامير ناميده شده است.در سنت يهودى اين اشعار به داود نبى نسبت داده مى شود، اما ظاهراً در صحت انتساب همه ى مزمورها به داود، ترديدهايى شده است.در سنت اسلامى كتاب داود "زبور" ناميد مى شود كه به معنى "كتاب" است، و برخى حدس زده اند كه همان مزامير عهد عتيق است. مخصوصاً به خاطر اشتراك آيه ى ١٠٥ سوره ى انبياى قرآن:"در زبور نوشتيم كه زمين را صالحان به ارث خواهند برد."و آيه ى ٢٩ از مزمور ٣٧ مزامير: "نیکان زمين را به ارث خواهند برد و تا ابد در آن سکونت خواهند نمود."و نيز شهرت صحيفه ى سجاديه كه مشتمل بر ادعيه است به "زبور آل محمّد" كه نشان مى دهد زبور از ديدگاه شيعى همين مزامير مشتمل بر دعاهاست.هر چند بعضى گفته اند زبور در قرآن نام كتاب خاصى نيست، بلكه به معناى مطلق كتاب آسمانى ست. (hide spoiler)]کتاب داوران(view spoiler)[کتاب داوران به دوره ای از تاریخ زندگی اسرائیلیان می پردازه که توسط هیئتی از ریش سفیدان که "داوران" نامیده می شدن، اداره می شدن. بعدها وقتی اسرائیلی ها در جنگ ها از دشمناشون شکست خوردن، به این نتیجه رسیدن که باید مثل دشمناشون از سیستم حکومت هیئتی، به سیستم حکومت پادشاهی (که یک نفر قدرت مطلق داره) روی بیارن تا بتونن تحت یه حکومت واحد یکپارچه، متحد و قدرتمند با دشمنانشون بجنگن. نخستین این پادشاهان، طالوته و بعد از اون داود و سلیمان. این دوره از تاریخ اسرائیلی ها در کتاب "پادشاهان" ذکر شده که بعد از کتاب "داوران" قرار داره.من مدت ها بود به این فکر می کردم که ماجرای بت شکنی ابراهیم، چرا توی عهد عتیق نیومده. تا اين كه بالاخره پيدا كردم اين ماجرا رو توى عهد عتيق (کتاب داوران، فصل ششم). با همون جزئيات (پدر بت پرست، مردم خشمگين، استدلال ابراهيم كه شما كه مى گوييد بت ها خدا هستند پس...) ولی بت شکن عهد عیتق، ابراهیم نیست، "جدعون" هستش، بعد از موسی و بعد از یوشع بن نون. (hide spoiler)]کتاب یونس(view spoiler)[خلاصه ماجراى يونس نبى، بر اساس كتاب يونس از عهد عتيق اين چنين است:يونس ساكن اورشليم بود. روزى خداوند بر او وحى كرد كه به شهر نينوا، پايتخت كشور آشور رفته، ايشان را انذار كند. اما آشور دشمن خونى اورشليم بود، و يونس نمى خواست مردم آشور "انذار" شوند، بلكه مى خواست همگى به خاطر جنايات و كفرشان نابود شوند. به خاطر همين، خشمگين از خواسته ى خدا، از اورشليم خارج شد و به جاى آن كه راهى شرق (نينوا) شود به سمت غرب (مديترانه) رفت، و سوار كشتى اى شد كه به سوى مصر مى رفت.كشتى دچار طوفان شد، كشتى نشينان گفتند: اين جا كسى هست كه خدا را با نافرمانى خشمگين كرده، قرعه انداختند (معتقد بودند خدا از طريق قرعه خواسته ى خود را به آن ها مى گويد) و نام يونس درآمد. او را براى تسكين خشم خدا به آب انداختند. ماهى او را بلعيد، يونس در شكم ماهى توبه كرد، ماهى او را به ساحل انداخت، و باز خدا وحى كرد كه به نينوا برو.يونس با بى ميلى به نينوا رفت و مردم را انذار كرد، و از شهر بيرون آمد و در بيابان نشست، به انتظار عذاب. چون مطمئن بود مردم نينوا به سخنانش اهميت نمى دهند. اما بر خلاف تصورش مردم همگى توبه كردند و خبرى از عذاب نشد. يونس باز خشمگين شد. خدا خواست براى يونس مثالى بزند. همان طور كه در بيابان نشسته بود و منتظر عذاب بود، بوته ى كدويى با برگ هاى پهن در كنارش روييد و بر سرش سايه انداخت. اما بعد حشره اى ساقه ى بوته را جويد و بوته خشك شد و افتاد. يونس بر بوته ى كدو افسوس خورد.خداوند فرمود: تو بر نابودى بوته اى كه براى رشدش زحمتى نكشيده اى و چند ساعت از عمرش نمى گذرد افسوس مى خورى، من چطور بر نابودى صد هزار نفر كه سال ها آن ها را پرورش داده ام افسوس نخورم؟اين داستان از دو جهت حائز اهميت است:١. تفسير برخى ابهامات ماجرايى كه قرآن روايت مى كند، از جمله ماجراى بوته ى كدو (كه در حد اشاره در قرآن آمده: "و بر او بوته ى كدويى رويانديم") كه باعث شده مفسران سخنان عجيب و غريبى در نقش آن بوته در داستان يونس بگويند.و همچنين علت خشمگين بودن يونس از فرمان خدا ("و ذاالنون را به يادآر آن هنگام كه خشمگين خارج شد و گمان كرد هرگز نمى توانيم به او دست بيابيم")٢. تا پيش از اين كتاب ديد عهد عتيق به خداوند و دين، ديدى كاملاً نژاد پرستانه است. از ديد كتاب هاى قبلى، خداوند نمى خواهد مردم را به كمال هدايت كند، بلكه تنها مى خواهد بنى اسرائيل را برترى ببخشد حتى اگر گناه كنند، و اقوام ديگر را مطيع و مقهور آن ها بسازد. چنين ديدى به دين براى ما بسيار عجيب و غيرقابل فهم است.در اين كتاب (كتاب يونس) براى نخستين بار خداوند به انسان هايى غير از يهوديان هم اهميت مى دهد و تنها به فكر نابودى و مقهور كردن آن ها نيست، براى نخستين بار در عهد عتيق صحبت از "هدايت" به ميان مى آيد و بحث هاى قومى كنار گذاشته مى شود.در نتيجه اين كتاب نقطه ى عطفى است در عهد عتيق. (hide spoiler)]كتاب ايوب(view spoiler)[کتاب ایّوب نقطه ى عطفى است در عهد عتيق: تا پيش از اين، خداوند فرمانبری را به نعمات دنیوی پاداش می داد و نافرمانی را با مصائب دنیوی مجازات می کرد. در نتیجه هر کس به مصیبتی دچار شود بی شک گناهی کرده که مستوجب این عذاب شده. اما در اين کتاب به نظر می رسد چشم يهوديان باز شده است: چه بسيار نا به كاران سعادتمند، و چه فراوان نیکوکاران تيره بخت.ايوب مردى است خداترس، كسى كه كمترين خدشه اى به تقوايش نمى توان كرد؛ اما به ناگاه مصائب از همه جا بر سرش جارى مى شوند. دوستانش نزدش مى آيند و به پيروى از كتاب هاى پيشين عهد عتيق، او را متهم مى كنند كه حتماً گناه بزرگى مرتكب شده، كه اين چنين عذاب سختى بر او نازل شده. اما ايوب، وامانده و حيران مى گويد من در پيشگاه خدا كمترين گناهى مرتكب نشدم، و نمى دانم دليل اين بدبختى چيست. بيشتر حجم كتاب شرح اين گفتگو است، و در نهايت خداوند ظاهر مى شود و با خشم به ايوب مى گويد: "تو حق ندارى از كارهاى من ايراد بگيرى، چرا كه من قادرم و تو نيستى."هر چند اين كتاب پاسخى به اين شبهه (كه چرا نيكان در رنجند و بدان در تنعم) نمى دهد، اما مشخصاً نشان مى دهد كه ذهن يهوديان به اين شبهه مشغول بوده است، و در كتاب هاى بعدى عهد عتيق كم كم مفهوم عدالت اخروى براى جبران بى عدالتى دنيوى شكل مى گيرد: كم كم بهشت و دوزخ به عهد عتيق راه مى يابند. (hide spoiler)]کتاب کارهای رسولان(view spoiler)[کتاب کارهای رسولان، پنجمین کتاب عهد جدید، بعد از چهار انجیله، که به ماجرای حواریان مسیح بعد از مسیح می پردازه که چطور به شهرهای مختلف سفر کردن و مردم رو به اومدن مسیح بشارت دادن، چطور کلیساهای اولیه رو بنیان گذاشتن و مخالفت هایی که از طرف جامعه یهودی و رومی با اون ها شد.چند بخش از کتاب به صورت خاص مهم هستن.نخست،بخشی که حواریان در خونه ای جمع شدن، و ناگهان روح القدس در شعله آتش بر اون ها نازل میشه، و به واسطه روح القدس، قدرت پیدا می کنن که به زبان های مختلف تکلم کنن، در نتیجه می تونن به شهرهای مختلف غیر یهودی سفر کنن.دوم،ماجرای ایمان آوردن شائول (که بعداً پولس نامیده میشه) است. شائول ابتدا یک یهودی فریسی متعصبه که از کاهنان یهودی مجوز گرفته، و مسیحی ها رو تعقیب و بازداشت می کنه. وقتی برای مأموریتی مشابه به دمشق سفر می کنه، در راه نوری بر اون ظاهر میشه، و فردی در نور، بهش میگه: «شائول شائول، چرا بر من جفا می کنی؟»شائول میگه تو کی هستی؟ و فرد در نور میگه: «من عیسای ناصری هستم، همانی که تو بر او جفا می کنی.»شائول از شدت نور نابینا میشه. به دمشق میره، و توسط یکی از مسیحیان دوباره بینا میشه. چند بار مکاشفات مشابهی بهش دست میده، و به دین مسیح ایمان میاره و شروع میکنه به تبلیغ مسیحیت. بیشتر کتاب کارهای رسولان، شرح سفرهای شائوله (پولس) به شهرهای مختلف ترکیه و یونان و در آخر شهر رم، برای بشارت مسیح.سوم،در ابتدای امر یهودیان تازه مسیحی شده، حاضر نبودن که غیریهودیان رو به جمع مسیحی ها راه بدن و می گفتن این غیریهودیان فقط در صورتی می تونن به دین مسیح دربیان که ختنه بشن و به آیین یهود پایبند باشن. در طی سفرهای پولس به شهرهای غیریهودی این مشکل به معضل تبدیل شد، چون عده زیادی از غیریهودیان بودن که حاضر بودن مسیحی بشن، اما نمی خواستن توی شصت سالگی ختنه بشن!پس طی شورایی در اورشلیم، رهبران مسیحی به این نتیجه رسیدن که مسیحیت منحصر در یهود نیست، و اقوام غیریهودی هم می تونن بدون این که به آیین یهود پایبند باشن، مسیحی بشن. و این تصمیم، سبب گسترش پرسرعت آیین مسیح در شهرهای غیریهودی شد.یکارهای رسولان در سنت اسلامی۱. قرآندر قرآن، آیات ابتدایی سوره یس به ماجرای سفر پولس و برنابا و یوحنّا (ملقب به مَرقُس) به شهر انطاکیه پرداخته و از اون ها به عنوان "رسول" یاد کرده. در ماجرای قرآنی (که خیلی به اجمال و مختصر نقل شده و اسمی از افراد یا شهرها نیومده) صحبت از اینه که ابتدا دو رسول (پولس و برنابا) به شهر انطاکیه رفتن، ولی بعداً نفر سوم (یوحنّا ملقب به مرقُس) به اون ها اضافه شد. اما توی روایت قرآن صحبت از شخصی شده که از حاشیه شهر به مرکز شهر اومد و گفته های رسولان رو تأیید کرد و به خاطر همین توسط مردم شهر کشته شد. این ماجرا (یا مشابه اون) در کارهای رسولان ذکر نشده.۲. روایاتدر روایات اسلامی دیدگاهی بسیار منفی به پولس هست. پولس در دیدگاه اسلامی مثل یهودای اسخریوطی، یک خائن در لباس رسول بوده. به این شکل که ایمانش به دین مسیح ایمانی ظاهری بوده، برای این که تلاش کنه مسیحیت رو از درون خراب کنه. در همین راستا، ماجراهایی در روایات نقل شده از تحریف انجیل به دست پولس و اختلافاتی که با پطرس (جانشین مسیح) بر سر مسائل دینی (از جمله تجسم خدا بودن مسیح) داشت و در نهایت تونست نظر خودش رو تحمیل کنه. این که این روایات تا چه حدی صحت داشته باشن، نیازمند کار حدیثیه. اما حداقل این هست که از دید قرآن، پولس در کنار برنابا و یوحنّا، به عنوان یکی از رسولان فرستاده خدا (إذ ارسلنا إلیهم اثنین) یاد شده و به نظر میرسه عنوان "رسول" در قرآن همیشه با قداستی همراهه که با منافق بودن پولس سازگار نیست. 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  • Mary
    2019-02-22 18:17

    The Holy Bible—the Book of all Books. A guidebook for life: “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.” Explicitly shows God’s love for humanity in the sacrificial Gift of His Son – Jesus Christ. Explains in simplicity what a man must do to be saved. “Seek ye out of the book of the LORD, and read: no one of these shall fail…” Isaiah 34:16

  • Michael
    2019-03-12 18:26

    I guess it's pretty cheeky to give the Bible a bad review, but why not?It's boring, self-contradictory, petty, and mean.I only read it out of some kind of weird obligation to understand how the other 98% lives.I did learn a lot, however.If guests come by and want to rape my angel, I will let them rape my daughter. So say we all!

  • Amy
    2019-03-13 10:28

    The "LDS Edition" is great because of the footnotes and reference pages at the back that make it easier to study-- but as long as it's the King James Version it is good by me! :)(I'm not a big fan of all these new-fangled Bibles where they use hip and simple words. There were enough things changed and left out by previous translators!! I don't think we need MORE people interpreting and "simplifying" the word of the Lord.)

  • Shane Lusher
    2019-03-06 13:20

    Poor prose, plot disjointed, internal logic flawed, no verisimilitude whatever. From a literary perspective, whether you're analyzing based on the idea that it's fiction or nonfiction. Most of it doesn't make sense. Worth reading because it's the basis of modern western civilization (along with the Torah, but I haven't read that), but also because you will find so much of it that has not been quoted that is just so...strange. So many things that one discovers that just do not add up, and I don't mean the part about adam and eve being the first people, then having two sons, one of whom (cain) goes off to marry the woman in the land of Nod (who is the child of...a chimp?)....but lots of other things, too.

  • Juan Hovez
    2019-03-08 13:23

    I really don't get what the big deal is. The dialouge is wooden at best, and the love stories are stapled on. The gay zombie knife fight at the top of a waterfall is almost worth slogging through the Book of Obadiah, but I admit I just skipped ahead. The One True Faith? Maybe for the Reader's Digest crowd, but I just couldn't buy it.

  • Laura
    2019-03-10 12:16

    I decided since I had never read the Bible this was the year, so I've started. Here's what I learned: Genesis is interesting with a good narrative, and has some good funny names, like the brothers Huz and Buz. Exodus is engrossing while they're still in Egypt, but once they get out of Egypt, it's a big bore. All that happens is that God gives them directions for building the tabernacle and so forth, so it's basically like reading instructions for a piece of Ikea furniture. Leviticus is pretty interesting, in the sense that I see where all those bizarre rules come from. Numbers -- well, they don't call it Numbers for nothing. Kind of like reading spreadsheets. I'm hoping Deuteronomy picks up. I'm reading the King James Version because it's the prettiest. Don't care much about accuracy of translation. I do like Psalms (I skipped ahead a bit); it's basically like reading poetry. Further updates as warranted.Update January 2011: Well, I finally got through Numbers. What a slog. I have to admit that I started skimming because if I had read one more description of a burnt offering I would have offered myself up just to make it stop. And here's the really bad part: I start Deuteronomy, and what do I find but that the first part of the book gives a short summary of what had happened in Numbers. So I could have skipped the entire thing and basically read the Cliffs Notes. Oy.Anyway, onward.Update August 2011: Finished with Deuteronomy. Finally! Moved on to Joshua, which is lots better (I'm having the feeling that the histories are going to be a lot more interesting than the Five Books of Moses, or at least more interesting than Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy). But I keep getting distracted by other books, so, in keeping with the Jews' wanderings through the desert, this might actually take 40 years. I hope someone sends manna.Update September 2011: Finished Joshua and onto Judges. The book itself is pretty good, although it drags in the middle, as the text in that part of the book is pretty much the same thing as reading property titles -- not exactly pulse pounding. But the stories of Jericho and Ai pretty much make up for it. What I learned from Joshua, mainly, is that Joshua was one BAD MOFO. Go read Chapter 10 if you don't believe me. Also, Joshua contains what will undoubtedly be my favorite Bible verse ever: "And the children of Reuben and the children of Gad called the altar Ed, for it shall be a witness between us that the Lord is God." Ed! I love it. Names that the children of Reuben and Gad considered but rejected: Lou, Joe, Frank. Update May 2014: Well, it's taken me only three years or so, but I'm resuming this month. Into Samuel 1, although for some stupid reason I keep getting stuck on Eli and "Here am I." Maybe because it makes me think of Yoda.

  • John Egbert
    2019-02-25 12:42

    This book is really annoying, sexist, homophobic, and a lot of other awful things too. Honestly, if a character isn't getting raped then they're being burned alive for being gay. It's horrible. Also, it's wayyy too long. No offense to anyone that liked it, but it simply bores me. The first chapter is okay I guess, but everyone is way too stupid. Who kills their brother over something that dumb? It's annoying, frankly. This is a book that I'd never read twice.I'm not trying to be witty or anything, but I can't see what's so amazing about this book enough to worship it. Jesus is such a Mary Sue. Also, God is pretty awful to everyone else. Geez, dude, you think you could be a bit nicer to the people who are worshiping you all the time?I haven't read the Qu'ran yet, but I hope it isn't as boring and dumb.